"Introduction" to Palmer's The Courage To Teach

"This book is for teachers who have good days and bad, and whose bad days bring the suffering that comes only from something one loves. It is for teachers who refuse to harden their hearts...(Palmer, 2002, pg. 2)."

Well, "Amen" to that. Every emotion that I experience in my vocation is similar to relationships that I have with friends and family members: pain, frustration, sacrifice, joy, love, forgiveness, and on and on. So many ideas presented in this chapter struck a cord with me because teaching is so incredibly demanding, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. Palmer writes on page 2, "As I teach, I project the condition of my soul onto my students, my subject, and our way of being together." My experience today is a perfect example of this. When I went to my fourth period class, the lesson ran smoothly but there was an emotional disconnect with the material because I was tired and preoccupied with other responsibilities. My first thought after class was "Gosh, I wonder what's wrong with my girls today. They didn't seem to be as involved in the conversation as they normally are." I realized that it really had very little to do with them and more to do with me. I had indeed been thinking about how exhausted I was and the many Dean responsibilities that I had to before I left work today. Because I was able to identify that so quickly, my next class was able to make deeper connections with the material, simply because I spent 15 minutes alone during lunch to readjust my thinking.

Palmer writes on page 7, "They do not care what graduate school you attended, who chaired your dissertation committee, or how many books you have written, but they quickly sense whether you are real, and they respond accordingly." Granted my high school students are interested in where I went to school, they really don't respect or want teachers who are emotional disasters or distant aliens. They want teachers who are familiar and comfortable with their inner terrain and have clear boundaries with students. Palmer adds in this chapter that if he can provide any practical tips and tricks to help teachers stay focused and grounded in class, and I can't imagine anything being as healing and centering as regular, deliberate prayer.

Facing the Unfamiliar & Portrait of Possibility-Response

I am a time hoarder. I never have enough time to get what I want to get done, whether personally or professionally. I always could have graded more papers, monitored more students, developed a major crisis response drill for the students, called more friends or even my mom. Even though I could feel guilty about being a time hoarder, I actually think it helps to keep me focused and a bit uncomfortable because I'm always finding new ways to grow as a person, personally and professionally; and, the stress of being successful in personal relationships and/or work can add to this need to be a time hoarder. It does keep me vulnerable, however, and available to my students. Vulnerability does require accepting that we do not have all the answers nor do we always need to be right. Teachers and administrators can fall victim to this out of a need to project strength and not weakness; unfortunately, this leads to being ineffective with faculty, students, and parents.

In the reading, Durka comments that most people would probably pick neighbors, family members, siblings, or friends when asked to name two people who have been the most important teachers in their life, and those same people would list character traits to explain their choices. Well, I probably would pick a family member, but I would also pick several school teachers along the way. I would choose them because of who they were (compassionate, patient, faith-filled, strong) and not necessarily what they taught. The emotional and spiritual makeup of an educator is a large part of why someone is successful in a school, and those who were meant to work with students were given certain traits. Being an educator can be a choice, but it's really a calling. Someone's effectiveness in a school is based on that difference.

Teaching Wisely and Morally--Response

I enjoyed reading these chapters because it addressed a really important, yet basic, but difficult part of teaching, which is this idea that teaching material alone is not enough; we must appeal to and take interest in the soul of a student. As stated in the book, "Instead schools should offer students the means of authentic thought and allow them to take in the truth inwardly and not simply superficially" (Durka, 2002, p. 40). Creating an atmosphere open to dialogue, providing opportunities for intuitive/creative thought, and ensuring basic boundaries of respect encourage students to be willing to take risks with the information and apply the information to their own personal experiences. I found it refreshing to be reminded that we must never lose focus of "the broader educational goal we share with our students: the enhancement of life" (Durka, 2002, p. 41). After reading both chapters, I find this idea to be both beautiful, and a bit overwhelming, that in every thing that we do, both spoken and unspoken, that we are always shaping the students with whom we come into contact.

In "Teaching Morally," Durka (2002) writes, "...the teacher should never directly tell students what is right or wrong; instead, students should be left to discover "values" on their own...the result is moral relativism. Students deserve better" (p. 53). I laughed when I read this excerpt because I was reminded of a comment one of my seniors made in Religion class a couple of weeks ago. I asked the class how we come to know what is right and wrong, and a student responded with "I think everyone should worry about him/herself and not be concerned with anyone else." I responded, "So, you live on an island unto yourself?" She said, "Yeah, I guess." I responded again with, "Yeah, until you get hit by a drunk driver and then you realize that not only are we interconnected, but that person's values to which you paid no mind or had little concern for, has just impacted your life. " Ha! I laugh again in thinking about it, but teenagers are such natural relativists. If we leave them to discover values on their own, their ideas will never be challenged. Morals and parables, and other types of stories, are effective ways of communicating values and beliefs because students need these opportunities, or touchstones, to see and question the belief or value in action because of their limited life experience. Educators, particularly at Catholic schools, must be comfortable discussing and defending their values and beliefs because students bring these ideas into every classroom and activity, irregardless of subject matter. Often times, students want to be challenged in this way, even if they initially find it upsetting.

Durka--Teaching Courageously and Creatively Response

When I was in the ninth grade, I failed an Algebra test in Mr. Gordon's class. Devastated, I put my head down on the desk and began to weep quietly. While he was helping someone who sat behind me, he heard me sniffle, which prompted him to comfort me in the middle of class. From that point on, he always made himself available to me, resulting in an A in the class. I have never forgotten that moment, and as a teacher, I carry that moment with me.

These chapters opened up an important idea to me that I leave behind or fail to honor at times. As courageous as educators must be, I believe I fail to honor how courageous it is to be a student. Every day, we are demanding that they take risks--to share their opinion, to share their faith in God, to share a practice Math answer, to run for student government, to ask for help in class, or seek us out after class. Sylvia Ashton-Warner's success came from her courage to teach creatively, which in turn inspired her students to be courageous in the learning process. My Algebra teacher could have ignored my reaction to the test, but he showed compassion. His compassion inspired me to seek him out for help for the rest of the semester; his courage helped me to be courageous.

In the readings, Maxine Greene encourages educators "to look at things as if they could be otherwise." As a Catholic educator, it is our mission to approach our students, our school community, and our world with this attitude. If we are truly shaping God's world, we must hold onto this hope that what we are doing fulfills a greater purpose than what can be immediately measured. When we lose track of this, we do become like the graduate's student father. I wonder what happened to him that made him that way. I wonder what has happened to the teachers and administrators who I have met over the years that are "stuck in time". I pray that I will have the self-awareness to know if that is happening to me.

What is Spirituality?

Spirituality is the exercise of becoming closer to God and how I experience Him in the world around me. (To be continued)